Wonder Woman Drives a Mitsubishi

Now, younger drivers always get a bad wrap. And admittedly, often deserve it. However, there are a lot of bad drivers out there and the ones I always see aren't so young. The city of Atlanta, according to the tried and true publication Reader's Digest, has the fifth worst drivers in the nation. (Fortunately, this reference article is probably available for reprint-and with big letters, too!) I believe this rating, though I wouldn't if I hadn't been to most of the other cities. Two days a week I drive downtown to go to school. These are early mornings for me, and I am on the highway before seven o'clock. Apparently no one has heard of 1) coffee, 2) sleep, or 3) turn signals. Frequently people just decide to come right on over to my lane. It's kind of amusing, really. I think it is so funny when other drivers pretend not to see me, thereby almost causing a ten-car pile up. Ha ha! Those crazy kids! But wait-it seems as though every time I throw an angry glance at a driver violating my personal space, it is a bona fide grown up…often driving nice cars and, at least from the chest up, wearing professional looking clothes. (I guess that's just because my generation is slacking off and sleeping in.)

From my Kentucky driver's education booklet and classes, I learned that the farthest left lane is the fast lane, the farthest right is the slow or exiting lane, and everything in between is what I like to call the Baby Bear lanes. However, it seems as though this is not the case here in Georgia. First the people who drive just under the speed limit like the left lane. And those who get angry use the right lane to get around because the center lane is all people annoyed at drivers using the right lane to go a roundabout way to pass that moron in the left lane who's going sixty-three point forty five miles per hour who can't get over because all the other lanes are filled up with people in the wrong lane. It's exhausting, really. I wish people would just pick a lane and stick with it. Or better yet, find someone to share a ride with (I am ashamed to say I have not yet met someone to carpool with). At least there is a reward for those ever so environmentally conscious. There is a carpool lane that only cars with two or more people can drive in during the rush hours. I think this is a fantastic idea. However, I see many cars with just one person and it makes me angry. Wait-maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe there are a lot of people with imaginary friends riding with them. And maybe they (the driver and his or her imaginary friend) are having a very important conversation. And just maybe that is why they cannot drive in the normal lanes. They need a more vacant lane so that the imaginary people can play their imaginary Speed Racer games. Or sometimes they like to pretend I'm imaginary so they can drive on top of me. Actually, maybe my sister's dreams of being Wonder Woman spilled over to me and my car is the layman's version of Linda Carter's fabulous invisible jet. I wish I had her lasso. I wouldn't use it to make people tell the truth, though. I'd use it to smack bad drivers on the back of the head.

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